I wanna be my own hero.
It’s not enough that blood spills out your wrists
No you’ve gotta be perfect too
Give up and sacrifice your everything
To be enough for them,
Those who just want you on the floor
Who gives a shit if you struggle!
Their only goal is to keep you in fear
To mask theirs
… which is where I come in.
Battle wounds open and free!
It’s not enough for me that you want me afraid!
It’s not enough for my hunger,
For the angles of my jaws
For the blood dripping to burn you!
It’s not enough that you cower before me.
It’s not enough that you fear my roar.
Not enough that you beg forgiveness,
Not enough that you say your sins are not your fault!
JUST AS I WAS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU.
So now I will cut you down.
Each crack of bone and screech
Resonating in my skull
The skull you tried to bash on the ground!
These weak confines cannot hold me!
YOU WILL NOT CALL ME LESSER!
YOU WILL NOT HOLD ME BACK!
I will flay your skin
And splinter your bones,
I will rip out your lungs
Smoke-raw from speaking lies in my ears!
I will slay your judgmental gods.
I will cut off your ego-inflated horns!
You do not understand my anger.
You cannot fathom my wrath.
… hell hath no fury like a woman held down.
Understand this now.
I am a god-slayer,
I am the wolf that rips at your tameness,
Calling to the wildness in your breaking walls,
AND YOU CANNOT FUCKING TAME ME!
[[A/N: fucking hell. Sick of people's shit. Understand one thing about me if nothing else... if you attack me I'm going to fight back! Fuck you for calling me weak, helpless, stupid, "not as strong", "not as fast", not good enough, never good enough! Fucking sick of your shit. I'm not your bitch, AND I! DO NOT! BELONG! TO YOU!]]
They lied when they said that the good die young.
Fuck you for doubting us!
Were I the light to your shadow
Would you not seek to make me burn brighter?
Were I that important
Perhaps I would seek a less bitter strength
Were I enough for you
Maybe I would have found peace.
I am losing
Safety and peace
Look inward, you told me,
But inside is only a chaotic and wailing sea
A shrieking mess of flames and ash
Once resembling fireflies but now only hell
A twisted ball of roots
clenched tight around all of my raw nerves
It’s the lightest touches that burn
It’s the smallest failures that kill
I’ve closed my mouth and refused to speak
Because only acid will fall from my tongue,
Ripping itself from my gut
and spewing out uncontrollably.
… Please destroy me.
The moon hung low on full nights
Strung with silver twine between the birdhouses
Trees awestruck and trembling in the red rising.
The dusk of our eyes swam heavy-lidded and adjusting,
Dew pooling in our pupils,
Growing to placid discs deep enough to dive into in the dark.