Shaking

I have been

 

shattered.

 

Confidence

GONE

 

Shaky

Life threatened

And. I. Ran.

 

I was so scared

And now so angry

Because I should’ve been able

To handle myself.

 

I should have been able

To disable my attacker.

 

I am still shaking

But I am angry enough

Not to give up.

Another One Bites The Dust

You’re so hypocritical.

So childish.

So damn fake.

 

Didn’t think it would turn San against you, did you?

Well.

 

Too fucking bad.

Too Much (The Fragmented Verses, Part 11)

I love you too much to make you hold on to me

(and ask more than you can give)

And I love you too much to let you go

(and let you fall back into the darkness that you retreat to.)

 

I swear I will be better.

I love you too much to stay the way I am.

 

Sweetheart.

Darling.

Tiger boy.

 

I love you too much 

To let my own faults stop me.

Please don’t give up on me.

Piscean (The Fragmented Verses, Part 10)

slippery like a fish… damn near impossible to keep
Like a sudden thought
Like a roaring truth
And…
I’m so tired.

 

[[A/N: from my Facebook.  Written when upset.]]

Such A Dramatic Goodbye

Yeah.

It hurts.

 

But I’m really tired of caring.

And I don’t want to pull the same shit you did

 

CUTTING US OUT

 

So I’ll keep being your friend

Until you leave for good.

 

I guess I won’t mind if I can’t reach you.

I’ll write letters that I don’t know if you’ll read.

 

But whether they send or not,

No matter how far you go,

 

You’ll always have that memory of us.

Have fun trying to forget it

 

(Just like everything else.)

Rache

I’m coming back today,

I’m coming back to this house that’s not a home –

One after the other, I know your words before you say them,

So step away from the ledge,

Because I’m coming down.

 

This ink and space in my chipped crackling heart

And purple blood dripping off my fingers

It’s all charged and waiting for the drop of a hat

Shocking!

 

I’m not going to stay in this house that’s not a home

And I’m not going to take your avoidance and blame –

See it how you want it, and turn to the next page.

 

I’m coming back today,

I’m coming back to this house that’s not a home –

I won’t apologize for the person that I am,

Wolf bones piercing my ears,

Ochre smeared across my cheeks.

I won’t apologize for the acid honesty burning my tongue

So don’t expect me to

I’m going to be unstoppable!

 

Whether.

You.

Accept me.

Or.

Not.

 

[[A/N: I'm not going to let this bullshit past rule my life anymore.]]

Othala

Salt dripping from your ocean eyes

Leaves falling from your tea-stained tongue

You were my dying autumn child

Swept away by the screaming tide.

 

I could not hold on to you

Yet didn’t want to let you go,

Frozen fingers slipping from your foamy grasp.

 

I watched your rose petal mouth form cryptic words,

curved into a honeyed sardonic smile –

“You should get over me,”

You whispered,

 

And threw yourself to the wolves

Howling from the depths of my soul.

 

[[A/N: we've had some problems in the recent past, and Othala has been one of them. (Until she died.)  She was a small piece of a personality that hid behind me (Val) and CJ when she felt uncomfortable, which was pretty much all the time.  Let's just say it didn't work out too well.]]